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I remember when I first watched Billy Elliot. I was probably about the age of Billy, around 11, and I distinctly remember it being the first adult movie I really felt connected with. I immediately fell in love with the film. The second time I watched it was when I was 15 and bedridden with pneumonia. Being 15 was awful. I had just started high school in a new state, had no friends, was terribly sick for a month and deeply depressed, and I was just beginning to really question my gender identity. So, when I was lying alone on the couch, coughing until my chest ached, I was so excited to see Billy Elliot playing on TV. This time, it resonated even deeper with me, and I remember just crying and crying when it ended. Billy’s self discovery just felt that much more relevant to me at that point in my life.

I had first heard of the existence of the musical adaptation a few years later. My aunt was auditioning for the role of the dance teacher. I don’t know if she ever got the part though, or if my family was just unable to go see her, but regardless, it wouldn’t be until much later until I actually watched the stage production. A few months ago, I decided to give it a watch since, thankfully, it had been professionally recorded.

Billy Elliot is the story of a young boy, Billy, who accidentally stumbles into his love of dancing ballet. His father and brother are miners currently on strike for better worker rights, neither of whom understands Billy’s dancing. After hiding his dancing from his dad and getting secret lessons from his dance teacher after school, Billy finally confronts his father through dance, getting through to him and convincing him to support Billy’s ballet school audition. The film was well received, being nominated for and winning quite a few awards. Five years later, the musical adaptation, Billy Elliot the Musical, premiered and was also praised and awarded.

Adaptations and remakes are all the rage lately, and some make more sense than others. Billy Elliot, a movie all about how experiences and emotions can be explored in dance, makes a lot of sense to be turned into a singing and dancing stage production. The best part about watching the musical is just seeing so much constant dancing. The absolute skill these actors have to sing while they are doing the most intense aerobics on stage is baffling to watch. When your entire show is a spectacle though, you can lose something quieter.

Billy Elliot is a quiet movie. It is not in your face or shouting at you. That’s not to say it doesn’t have its more intense moments, but more so that watching the film feels as though you are looking in through someone’s window and seeing them as they are. The most obvious example of this difference between the film and the musical is in Michael, Billy’s only friend.

In the film, Michael is a very quiet character. He seems soft and gentle, only yelling out to Billy to say goodbye before he leaves. Michael has such touching moments with Billy, as the only male in Billy’s life who isn’t afraid of the feminine. He wears his sister’s dresses at home and gets excited when Billy hands him a tutu and dances with him in an empty gym. He may not always understand Billy’s interest in the ballet, but he is always supportive. He claps for him when he dances in defiance against his father, and he is the most devoted audience member when Billy has grown up and become a professional dancer.

In the musical though, Michael is the loudest character of them all. His voice is almost screeching at times, and he seems to always be shouting out his thoughts. He’s also much more stubborn and far less accepting of Billy’s passions. He makes fun of Billy when he tells him he’s into ballet, seemingly for comedic effect since it’s funny for a boy in drag to make fun of another boy for acting “girlish.” Billy also seems more disconnected from Michael, choosing not to dance with Michael in the gym, but instead waiting for Michael to leave him alone before going into his dance.

Sometimes, this loudness works in the musical’s favor. The “Angry Dance,” the moment Billy lets out all of his anger towards his family and the world, is excellently intense. Billy thrashes about on stage, slamming, kicking, and slapping things. His anger is also elevated with the anger we see from the miners union as they clash with the police. In one of my favorite moments combining these two stories, Billy uses the blockade of police and their riot shields as a wall to throw himself against. This scene is much more harsh and angry than the same scene in the movie. Billy still dances angrily, kicking walls and scraping his palms against brick, but it’s also more lighthearted and comedic. The music playing feels more upbeat and Billy lets his anger out in more playful ways as well, such as putting his shirt over his face and dancing while Michael looks on in amusement.

The musical in general connects Billy’s story much more closely to the miners’. It’s the change I like the most about this adaptation, in fact. We get to see the young ballerinas practicing with the miner’s as they talk about the strike. The little girls sing “we’re proud to be working class, solidarity forever,” as the thick arms of the miners lift them up in dance. This is the beauty of stage productions, especially musicals. You can have two scenes occur simultaneously and interconnectedly without confusing the audience. The audience knows that the miners are not actually practicing ballet with these girls, but by connecting these moments, we are constantly reminded that the strike is not merely background noise, but a direct force in Billy’s life. Watching these moments, I couldn’t help but see the miner’s strike as a sort of dance, and Billy’s story as more of a direct fight against authority.

With this greater focus on the characters as a whole and community though, I felt as if many moments lost the more interpersonal relationships and character driven moments. Take Billy’s dad for example. Billy’s father is such an important character in the story. He is the main blockade in Billy’s life, and his greatest obstacle. In the film, he is quick to anger and even physically violent, which is something we don’t really see in the musical. When Billy talks back to him in the film, he pushes Billy against a wall in a fit of rage, whereas in the musical, Billy simply runs away from him as he stands there in a far less affected manner. He is also much more physically harsh to Billy’s brother when he is caught trying to sneak out at night to violently protest against the police. Maybe the musical chose to significantly tone this down because they worried it would be harder for audiences to sympathize with a character’s redemption if they were physically violent towards their children. In my opinion though, his harshness and brutality makes his character growth all the more impactful and drastic. He starts out as the absolute epitome of masculinity: a strong, hardworking man who rules his household with an iron fist. But when Billy has finally had enough and dances his heart out right in front of him, he runs away like a scared child. He changes and becomes a supportive figure in Billy’s life, giving up everything he’s been working for with the strike just to give Billy the chance to fulfill his dreams.

The moment most pivotal to Billy’s father’s development, I think, is when he sells his dead wife’s gold jewelry to pay for Billy’s ballet school audition. We watch as he solemnly holds the jewelry in his hand for the last time before turning his back to the camera and walking into a pawn shop. In the musical though, one of the miner scabs gives Billy a thick wad of cash, which the striking miners try to refuse. Billy’s dad passively lets Billy keep the money and that’s that. This moment feels so much less impactful to me. This random character is the one to make this sacrifice for Billy, not his own father. I think this was to connect the miners strike with Billy’s story again and reinforce this idea of community and solidarity, but it feels so empty compared to the film. Billy’s father is not just giving up his wife’s jewelry, but his emotional hang ups with her death as well. He has to put his son first finally, and to do this he needs to release his deep grief for his wife.

Similarly, I think the musical also cut out Billy’s pivotal character moment. In the film, Billy hides his dancing from his family. We watch him practice in the small bathroom, lie to his dad about where he’s going, and avoid dancing in front of his dad and brother when he’s caught and confronted. This all changes when Billy’s dad catches him dancing in the gym with Michael. He stares, disappointed at his son who continues to dance despite his protests. This time though, Billy does not run away. He dances in front of his dad, getting right up in his face and showing him the culmination of all his hard work. This is not only what changes his father’s mind, but more importantly, it represents Billy’s character growth. No longer does he feel the need to hide who he is, but instead he will thrust it in your face in protest. He is no longer ashamed of looking like a “poof” or being unaccepted by his father.

In the musical, this moment was replaced with one of the most beautiful moments in the entire show. Wait… what?

So in the musical, instead of Billy being caught dancing and having fun with Michael, Michael leaves and Billy begins to dance alone. The audience watches as the iconic Swan Lake music begins to play as the stage is shrouded in fog. Billy spins a chair on one of its legs, and suddenly, an older Billy appears, mirroring his movements. For the rest of the song, Billy dances in the “Dream Ballet” sequence where he spins and twirls in the air (literally) with his older self. It is absolutely a tear-jerker moment and breathtakingly beautiful. I can only imagine how awestruck I would be if I saw this in person. As the song ends and Billy’s older self leaves, Billy notices that his father has been silently watching him dance. Billy tries to say something, but his father runs off.

This beautiful, incredible moment strips Billy’s agency and development from him. I love this scene and it is absolutely the show stopping moment, but I hate that it comes at the cost of Billy deliberately choosing to dance in front of his father. By being caught in the act, Billy never shows that same sense of determination and “fuck you, Dad” attitude that we see in the film. In this version, Billy’s dancing changes his dad’s mind, not Billy’s determination. It makes his father’s change of heart feel much less impactful. If Billy was not as good of a dancer, would he still change his attitude and support him? Or is it only because Billy danced so beautifully that he decided to give his son his encouragement?

I find the Swan Lake scene in the film a far more meaningful representation of Billy and his father’s relationship. Billy is much older now and a professional dancer thanks to his father’s support and sacrifice. His brother drags their dad along to the show, unable to hold in his excitement, and as they watch Billy leap gracefully on stage, we see his father overcome with emotion. He looks so proud of his son and no longer hung up on expectations of who he should or should not be, and I think I prefer that to a beautiful moment Billy has alone.

If I haven’t already made it unbearably clear, I love Billy Elliot, and I actually really enjoyed the musical too. I loved its greater focus on the political climate of the time and how the miner’s strike was directly impacting everyone in the story. It had incredible dancing and the songs were overall full of emotion and quite faithful to the moments in the film. I just found that it too often seemed to miss exactly what made certain scenes so vitally important to the characters and their development.

This film will always have a special place in my heart. It seemed to find me at the perfect moments in my life when I needed a story like that. It’s the kind of story I want to one day be able to tell. It’s quiet but also intensely emotional, sweet, sad, and funny all in one package. I love the broader messaging of the musical, but I think I just prefer those softer moments between characters that you get in the film.